Dancing in the Starlight Part 8

[Gael]

I lost my virginity when I was fifteen.

 

The boy's name was Etienne, he was the captain of our high school's ice hockey team and a fourth year student to my first year. It was the eyes, I'll freely admit. Sparkling blue under slightly messy dark brown hair. I sighed for a week, maybe two, then managed to work up enough nerve to say hello and fully expected him to either not say anything to me or to say something very nasty.

 

"Hey, You're...Miriya, right?" Was not quite what I was expecting. Not in the curious, rather friendly way he said it anyhow. We talked for a few minutes as we both headed to our next classes and agreed to meet after school. Talk for about an hour over sodas led to a meeting again a couple days later, which led to me coming to see them play hockey that Friday night (I NEVER attended any afterschool functions. Period, end of statement.) and that led to a movie on Saturday night. That led to a kiss after a movie on the next Saturday and a lot of kissing the Saturday after that. Barely a month after I'd said hello, I was crying and bleeding in the back seat of his father's car and he was looking panic-stricken. I ran, holding my pants up with one hand and leaving my dignity behind me without a thought, finally stopped a mile away at a pay telephone and called home. Thankfully, Darien picked up, talked me down out of panic, picked me up off the street and got me home and in bed a sobbing heap instead of the roiling stormcloud of fear and anger and low rage that I'd been when I called.

 

Nothing had happened to me that hasn't happened to nearly every girl their first time. It hurts! I was hardly a novice to pain; not practicing the martial skills I did, but this was different; something done to me instead of done by myself.

 

Etienne wouldn't meet my gaze three days later.  He wouldn't answer the phone or return my calls. And the rage began to grow.

 

Once again, Darien came to the rescue, but not mine this time. He met Etienne somewhere and they spoke. A day later, I learned that he had left North Bay for the Royal Canadian Air Force. Darien never told me just what he had told Etienne and I did not press. I was very deadly at that time given my martial prowess, but Darien? Darien was dangerous in ways I couldn't fathom. A ready smile, a friendly demeanor, he could easily become your best friend, give you advice....or find just the right thing to say to scare you absolutely spitless.

 

Thus, did my first....um...romance end; with a whimper after the bang.

 

The boys avoided me like poison after that, though, and the girls didn't do much to help matters. I withdrew into myself again, pushed myself even harder in my martial arts training.

 

Love found me when I was sixteen.

 

It was late May, the ice had just left Lake Nippising and Jennifer and I were about to make our first camping foray. She had gotten her pilot's license and we flew out to one of the outpost cabins her father's company maintained in order to get it ready for the upcoming season of fishing tourism. We had our own gear including a couple fur blankets, one of fox fur for her and one of wolf fur for me.

 

We landed, tied down the plane and set to work cleaning out old leaves and fallen limbs and leftover trash and got the cabin cleaned out and cleaned up. It was hot, dirty business for two young girls and I was quite grimy. I should have known better, and I probably did, but the sunlight hitting the water just looked too good to a hot, sweaty me and I jumped in just moments after divesting myself of clothing.

 

Jen pulled a wet cold and cramping stupid gypsy girl out of the nearly freezing water, built up the fire we'd been using to get rid of most of what we'd just cleaned up and started massaging me out of the lump of shivering flesh I'd become. Sometime after I was a recognizable, somewhat straightened up shape again, the massage turned intimate.

 

If my clumsy attempt at making love with Etienne was hell, this was heavenly. I was whimpering and crying and gasping...and then she replaced fingers with tongue and teeth...

 

The sun was set before I came back to myself.

 

"What did you do?" I managed to gasp out a whisper. Smiling, she showed me. When I came back to myself again, I did my best to return the favor. I know I didn't do to her what she did to me anywhere nearly as good as she had performed, but her gasps of 'oh, yes....' and 'more...oh, there...yessss...' served to steer enthusiasm into at least a modicum of skill.

 

The sun was nearly at noontime when we stirred from our nest of fox and wolf fur and pillows. Suddenly, I was at least as guilty as I'd been after Etienne; and I think I had an understanding of just why he was suddenly so distant to me after our time in the back seat. I lived in what was, by many standards, a backwater area and I was, at best, a so-so student, but I knew what homosexuality was and knew all the talk about how 'wrong' it was.

 

I started to blurt out applogies to Jen and she stopped me in the most expedient manner. The kissing led to another round of what led to us being wrapped in furs.

Hours later, I didn't even think of trying to appologize for turning my best friend into a lesbian and she didn't appologize for anything.

 

"How are we going to tell them?" I finally managed to ask; meaning Elspeth and her father and Darien.

 

Jennifer's answer was laughter and a slight straightening of the two furs.

 

There, in the center of the red fox fur, was a bit of wolf fur, a gray heart. And a red fox-fur heart sat amidst the field of gray wolf. We'd rolled those furs up when her father had given them to us just before our flight; I'll swear to this very day I didn't not see them then.

 

"Something tells me," Jennifer said after managing to still her laughter for a moment,"that they already know..."