Out of the Shadows

[Hella Jorgensen]

I recently returned from a visit to Paquin, my first since rejoining the Companions Guild. It was nice to meet some of my new sisters and brothers and to be among a supportive group of people once again. I hadn't realized how much I missed it. It was an enjoyable trip overall, and I was even able to attend a photography class while I was there, where I learned some interesting new techniques to try.

I must say that it felt odd standing on the shores of Dakini Land, staring out across the ocean. Water was everywhere, for miles and miles, as far as I could see. Replace the word "water" with "sand" in the previous sentence, and that would be the view from my current home. There's probably not enough water on Araxes to fill even a small lake on Paquin, and the sight of so much at one time almost made me feel as if I were drowning. I'm so used to the scorching heat and the dryness of the air, of having to sweep sand out of my house every time I open the door, and of having to savor and conserve every drop of water that I use, that it almost seems unfair for Paquin to have so much of the precious liquid.

It's interesting to see how the Guild has changed since my initial training all those years ago on Sihnon, and I look forward to being back within its embrace and learning new ways. I regret having left, but there was very little choice at the time. I needed to disappear completely, and that meant cutting off contact with the Guild as well, not only for my own safety but also so as not to sully the Guild's name by the unsavoriness of my past actions. I would never do anything that would cause harm to my sisters and brothers, and it was for that reason I set in motion the final act in that part of my life and then vanished into the night, or rather into the bowels of the first ship leaving the planet that would take me, a rustbucket freighter that would prove to be my home until recently. Its captain, Alaran, never asked me any questions about my past, and he never abused the terms of payment we arranged for my residence aboard his ship. For those reasons we became close friends, and I learned many new things during our journeys. Still, I missed the Guild and hoped I could go back someday, when it was safe for me to emerge from the shadows. And finally that time is now.

I look forward to the appointment with my sister Deren in the coming days and to the beginning of my re-training. It will be nice to have her support in Al Raqis as Paquin is so far away. It will be the start of a new chapter in my life, and hopefully it will erase the mistakes I've made over the past few years, or at least bury them deep enough so that I can put them behind me. I took the first step in doing that when I rented a home in the city and said goodbye to Alaran. I'd grown tired of wandering the galaxy, and when I stepped off the ship into Al Raqis and saw the mountains and sand all around, I finally felt like I'd found a place I could call home. Something about the harshness of the land struck me as beautiful, and the small oasis of civilization within it that is Al Raqis seemed to echo how I often feel about myself. This was a place with which I identified. This was a place where I could start over.

I'm anxious to begin my training, but until that time there are many things keeping me busy on Araxes. It's taken me a while to get used to the ways of this planet, but I'm learning, and I have a good teacher, my neighbor, Clara. I ran into her last night at the public vaporator. She'd just come in from the desert and was hardly recognizable in her sand-covered gear. She's the type who never stands still. She's always pacing, full of energy, even after hours of mining spice.

She was quite excited about an upcoming bug hunt, and she wants me to join in as well. It should prove to be an interesting experience, all except for the part where she wants to be swallowed by a worm so that she can cut her way out from the inside. That's the easiest way to kill them, she told me. I think I'll pass on that activity though. I might join her in riding a worm however. She says it will enhance my status if I can do it, and I suppose as a newcomer that would be a good thing. If I'm going to live here, then I need to take part in the customs of the world.

Clara also encouraged me to get out into the desert more. She said to visit Wadi Emet, which I did this morning. It was a beautiful spot, just like she promised, at least until someone started shooting at me. I have no idea who it was. I never saw them, so I couldn't defend myself. All I could do was hightail it out of there on my speeder and hope that I didn't get hit. Such is life on Araxes.

Also, with all the trouble surrounding the Guild right now, I decided to buy my own ship so that I can come and go from Araxes as I please if I need to help out in any way, either now or in the future. Besides, I need reliable transportation to travel back and forth to Paquin during my training. Now that I've returned to the Guild, I shouldn't be making the same types of arrangements with the captains of private vessels like I did with Alaran. Visiting a local shipyard, I bargained out a good deal on a long-range shuttle that should get me anywhere I need to go. The cost used up much of my savings, but I'm not worried. There are many ways here to make extra money should I have the need.