Water carves rock

[Lysana McMillan]

This feels like a very strange thing to admit. The words are being difficult with me to do so. But something is striking at one of my core self-concepts, and I only just realized this.

There is love in my life these days. A deluge of love. More than I can remember at any other point in my existence. And it's doing damage to the rock in my head that swears I'm unlovable. It's disquietingly scary to realize and admit this. And I feel a bit ashamed that I can't just revel in it.

Those of you reading this who are a part of this surfeit of love in my life, I thank you truly. I pray to continue to be worthy of it. I'm just having to sit with this deep fact about myself while I'm at it.

[Beeflin Grut]

Perhaps you don't have to deserve it. Maybe it's just that you've been meeting more loving people! Welcome to that place.

[Lysana McMillan]

I truly have been meeting more loving people, even outside of the Guild. And you see the result. Thank you for the welcome.

[Persephone Emerald]

Our conditioning is so deeply wired into us, and we retell ourselves these stories about ourselves over and over until we believe them. We believe we'll only be loved if we please others, if they need us, or if we don't disturb them. In reality, everyone doesn't follow those rules. They might love you just because you're a sweet, interesting and cool person. You *are* lovable, obviously, because you are loved.

[Lysana McMillan]

Yes, it does seem obvious, doesn't it? Seems I needed to hit critical mass for it to strike home. Thank the gods for polyamory. *chuckles*