All Blog Posts (73)

This feels like a very strange thing to admit. The words are being difficult with me to do so. But something is striking at one of my core self-concepts, and I only just realized this.

There is love in my life these days. A deluge of love. More than I can remember at any other point in my existence. And it's doing damage to the rock in my head that swears I'm unlovable. It's disquietingly scary to realize and admit this. And I feel a bit ashamed that I can't just revel in…

 I wrote this for a friend in SL, but it has layers of meaning

     Reflection

Training does an interesting thing: it changes us. 

It almost seems so obvious, that it is silly to write it out.  That, many will say, is the entire point.  But what is not so obvious is that practice is not just something that is picked up and put down.  Well, in the beginning it is.  We do things that put us in the frame of mind to work towards what we aspire to.  "Now I am acting as a companion," we think as we don our colors or attend a class.  "Now I am just…

Granted, I've only been on this path for two months, but I'm starting to think about the shape it's prone to take. Not in a detailed fashion, though. This is the sort of path where the best time to see the details is after you've gone through them. But I've been having conversations with someone who started with the Guild after me, and it's bringing to mind some things. Making it more real that none of us are walking alone even though we're the only ones who can travel our exact journey. How…

Imagine a woman who is interested in her own life.

A woman who embraces her life as teacher, healer, and challenge.

Who is grateful for the ordinary moments of beauty and grace.

Imagine a woman who participates in her own life.

A woman who meets each challenge with creativity.

Who takes action on her own behalf with clarity and strength.

Imagine a woman who has crafted a fully-formed solitude.

A woman who is available to herself.

Who chooses…

• Gege Joe and I both experienced what I dubbed a charisma spike shortly after our respective fourth Encounters. Or during in my case; while at Frank's Place for dancing, someone IMed me out of the crowd there and even used the "come here often" line. He presaged a small deluge of attention which happened whether I was out by myself or not. This appears to be fading with time.
• Without getting into long detail, I am left wondering if escort services are as prone to attempt to…

That was soul-baring. So not used to my deeper intimacies being exposed to a wider audience. How thankful I am once again for the love and support of the Guild. Would've been impossible for me to do that in a less supportive space.

And in saying that, it strikes me that I have no problem with sex in a wider-access frame. The soul-baring wasn't the sex. It was the love that I know was communicated. It's not as if I haven't had sex with someone I love at that ritual before,…

• It took me close to 20 years to realize I'd fallen out of love with a career path and close to 2 years to realize I'd fallen out of love with a person. Instead of kicking myself for taking so long, I should take comfort in the fact I've improved by a factor of 10. Then I should keep working on this self-knowledge thing I keep hearing so much about.
• The classes so far have been good to amazing for me. But I mustn't limit my learning to class time. Interactions with my brothers…

Yep, one week in and I can report growing pains. A relationship I had been maintaining for the last two years in SL became a former relationship this week, and what I've experienced so far with the Guild contributed to that. We didn't break up because of the Guild per se. I applied mindfulness to an odd reaction I was having with another lover and saw clearly what had been gnawing at me. I'd stopped loving him months ago.

In a fit of ironic timing, Zen's class on Love Without…

So much in my head in so short a time. Reading notecards as if they are a novel I can't put down. Seeing so many things that sing to me. And yet...

One notecard spoke of the inner Aphrodite. I seem to have an inner Freyja instead. She is Love to be sure. She also has her warrior aspect. The ones who stay behind to fight for the ones who cannot are Hers. She also chooses from those slain on the battlefield to join Her in Folkvangr (Odin's takings go to Valhalla, and He gets the ones…

Felt like Spring today // Petals flutter in the wind // Warmth opens my heart

When I did jump up // Like grass reaching for the sun // concealing spiders

Fire melts the night frost // We sit bundled near the camp // Watching, sleepy-eyed

Flowers burst like novas // Wafting soft to the sunshine // fragrance fills the air

Five rice grains lie there // unstirred by the rusty knife // a mouse nibbling them

the moon fades to rust // Sun rises, hills emerge, day breaks //  I…

Yesterday was an exciting day for me as Phoenix of Xiaojie House.  Companions, Acolytes and friends traveled to us from so many different places!  My head was swimming, but in a good way.  High Priestess Varahi was her charming, diplomatic self as she greeted guests and arranged for serving.  I myself ran the Chinese Checkers tournament, an intellectually satisfying game, though without a definite winner, so can be continued on next month.  Our special incense wafted through the House and…

About the two types of Sci-Fi Fiction/Roleplay.

It seems to me there are two main types... them that believe in Earth and them that don't - am I wrong?

Any series, film or book that explores a Universe that don't include Earth can be a harder and more technical place to be imaginative in - their Flora, Fauna, Culture, Communities will be made up of things that we most possibly would have to learn from scratch in order to 'fit' in and understand properly (unless we were able to…

The Cone Koan

Once upon a time, in a two-dimensional universe not far from ours, a teacher and a student were meditating in the Garden of Known Shapes.

After a long period of time, the student turned to the teacher and said, "What value is there to learning to see beyond what I can see?"

The teacher rose from the ground, then…

I woke up this morning with an idea for a combination classroom/recreation area. Garden of the Four Enjoyments sounds a bit auspicious, now that I'm more awake, but I'm thinking of keeping the name for now until I can think of something more appropriate.

When you arrive, you'd start off in a sandy area surrounded by trees. There would be a curving footpath with trees on one side, and small stream on the other. This area represents the first enjoyment. 

If you…

In between diplomatic visits to outreach university projects in Extropia and Al Raqis I was called in to deal with more unusual activity at Dakini Land. "Take this" my Extropian partners said as they sent me off in a rudimentary canoe. Apparently a strange crystalline forcefield had appeared there - the same form as the crystals found under the ocean - that was yet to be decided. It is impossible to sail south of the island now.. and the area beyond the crystalline forcefield seems to be…

So... another dive happened and results helpfully recovered by the Captain of the very capable ship 'the Beowulf'

It seems that what we have under the ocean is very likely to be, at least in part, a crystalline machine developed by a culture we are currently unaware of. Capt Jaegen took scans of both geology and fauna in the area. The radiation given by the crystal is very focused and shared by the creatures who appear to have no appearent mass other than their plasma state.…

Well.. its not often I leave the University of Spinwheel these days.. but I am always on the look out for new information for the hungry students on my courses to devour. A visit from the recently registered Companion Tian Ti and her invitation to investigate new discoveries off the south shore of Dakini Land was a pleasant surprise.

Once i recieved the promised report my first stop was Extropia with the findings. The database turned up a few conclusions.. but opened up more…

I found the Companions perhaps by chance, perhaps by fate, who knows?  I met the lovely Citty one night at a club and we had a nice chance to cuddle and talk and were friends right away.  As fate in SL falls I had to log but we friended to meet again.  How was I to know that it would be the next day?  Ok, ok, so she told me she wanted to invite me to a class, but let a girl have some drama will you?  (Just the good kind!  Like in plays and movies!  I love movies, and shiny things, have I…

Hello Firefly Companions,

I've just joined as a Companion Acolyte - my thanks to Hilary Querrien for her kindess in showing me around and making me feel welcome.

Having been in SL for just over two years I had become a little jaded and not around much in the past six months. I found the Guild by accident while looking for a place to live and I was captured by the idea of becoming a Firefly Companion - though I think I am probably more Simon Tam than Innara Serra and will try…